Growing up I was always told by someone that I was bad, or no good. Most of the time it was by someone who was in a leadership role, like teachers or pastors. Kids were told they couldn't hang out with me because my parents were divorced, or because I lived in the poor neighborhoods. Even my own grandparents were a part of it because they didn't like my dad. My mother was the only one in my life at that time that showed me unconditional love. When someone, especially a child, is told continuously over and over again that they are bad, dumb, wrong, or no good by people that are supposed to be mentors or teachers they are going to believe it and then start to live it.
That brings me back to my last post where I said I will not write another blog post. I was attacked personally by some people and had others just turn their backs on me for a post I put on facebook, and a recent sermon I preached at my church. I think because of my past I have a self confidence issue and things like being verbally attacked and told I am wrong affects me a lot more than most and makes me question what I believe. I am struggling deeply with my faith because of what I see and what I am getting from people who call themselves Christians.
I was talking with a good friend of mine and he reminded me of the beatitudes especially one of them. Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. He also reminded me that I have preached 2 sermons and posted many posts on my blog that have touched many more lives in a positive way, and that the more people I bring closer to God, the more people Satan will put in my way to try and stop me. Well he almost succeeded, but I won't let him. It seems that God has given me these gifts, and I will not stop preaching His word because I have been called to spread the Word of God. So, like it or not I will keep posting on my blog, and I will keep preaching sermons when God calls me to do so.
Mark 16:15 NIV He said to them, Go into all the world and preach the gospel to all creation.