When I found out that my mom had cancer it was like something changed inside of me. I am not quite sure how to explain that feeling, I just knew something in my life had to change. I had never even considered life without my mom and that scared me. The doctors said 50-50 I think it was, but we had a shot.
The first thing I did is something I had never done before, I got a job. Since this was before the days of drug testing, that wasn't very hard. One of my family members had a friend who got me a job being a parts runner for a refrigeration company. They worked on fishing boats and warehouse freezer and cooling units, so I delivered parts to job sites and things like that. Lucky for me I remember thinking at the time that it was a easy job.
After about a week of working, it was a slow day and the bosses had me painting the entryway. Just before the shop opened for the day the front door opens and in she walks. She took my breath away, I couldn't take my eyes off of her. I scared her when she walked in and she said the F word, Earlier in the week the company started a cuss pool and every time you said a cuss word you had to put a quarter in the jar. She had me so tongue tied that the only thing I could say was "That's a quarter." She looked at me like I was stupid and said "F you" and walked up the stairs to the office. I remember feeling embarrassed for not being able to say anything to her, I have never had that happen to me, I was always Mr. Smooth.
For the next couple of months every time she came down to the shop and I was around I would just fall apart. I couldn't say or do anything right when she was around and it was obvious to everyone, including her. All the guys in the shop would tease me and tell me she was way out of my league, that she didn't date guys like me. At that time I was a want to be biker/gangster, maybe a hell's Angel want to be. I wore a jean jacket with cut off sleeves over a leather jacket and had long hair past my shoulders and a long beard. ( Think ZZ Top style beard).
I had it so bad for this girl that I sat home at night trying to figure out ways to get her to go out with me. I had money, I had drugs, and I was told by some I had looks. So why wouldn't this girl go out with me? I decided one day that she wasn't the type to do LSD or Meth, so I just gave it up. I didn't even think twice about it, just gave them up. As strong as those 2 addictions are, I think there was some form of help from higher up, but I would never had seen it then.
After a few months of being off the LSD and Meth I started to put some weight on and look healthier, but I still couldn't get her to pay attention to me. It got to the point where I shaved off my beard and even got my hair trimmed up a little, but even that didn't work. One day I was in the shop talking to the job scheduler about how bad I wanted to go out with this girl and how she wouldn't pay attention to me. He told me he would talk to her and put in a good word for me, right about that time she walks right into the shop. He turns and yells out to her "Hey ********, Mike here wants to go out with you".
I was so embarrassed, I must have been so red I glowed in the dark. I am not sure why, probably out of pity, or a little coercion from her girl friend who was there giggling, or just maybe that higher power I mentioned earlier, She agreed to go out with me. This was the start of a new chapter in my life......