Friday, April 27, 2012

Losing my mother

After dating for a couple of months we moved in together. I had never lived anywhere other than with my mom, so this was a new adventure for me. We were still working at the same place and I was still smoking a lot of pot, which was a very touchy subject around our place. One day I got tired of her always complaining about me smoking pot so I told her I would quit, but I didn't. I just didn't let her know I was still doing it.

 After about six months of living together I asked her to marry me and she said yes. It was right around Christmas time and so we decided to get married the next year on Christmas.  As Christmas got closer my mother's cancer grew worse and worse and we weren't sure she would be around for another year so on Christmas eve 1991 we decided to get married on News Years Eve 1991, and that is what we did.

Since there wasn't a lot of time for planning we got married in a court house by a judge. I think that it is kind of ironic that after everything I had done in my life up that point, that the only time I have ever been in a court house in front a judge was to get married. We didn't go on a honeymoon because I thought my mom would die while we were gone and also the fact that we had no money.

Shortly after we got married my mom had a serious complication with some blood thinning medication she was on. It had caused her brain to shift and put her into a partial coma, so the first six months of our marriage was spent sitting at my mother's bedside waiting for her to die as one by one her organs started to shut down, and in July 1991 my mother passed away. It was actually Kidney failure that had caused her death, but on that same day another tragic incident happened, my family fell apart.

Still today I have not talked to one sister and another was out of my life for nearly 5 years. There was something else that was not going well either and that was my marriage. It seemed like everything was piling up on top of me and I couldn't talk or wouldn't talk with anyone and all I wanted to do was smoke some more pot. It seemed like the answer to everything was just to smoke some more pot.  At that point I remember thinking back to that time in that little church with all those people telling me how much God loved me, and there I was 23 yrs old both my parents dead and a six month long marriage that most people didn't think would last a year.

No comments:

Post a Comment